A Year of Darkness and Light

Today I stopped by my favorite coffee shop for a final treat before beginning the Whole 30, a diet which I am forlornly referring to as "30 days without cheese" (and a long list of other things).  Instead of one drink of the week, they had two:  Dark Side and Light Side lattes.  Although this is no doubt in celebration of the long-anticipated release of a certain movie, I thought it was the perfect summation of what 2015 has been for me.

So many tragic events have happened around the world and closer to home.  I have had tough parenting moments and difficult situations at work.  Yet, I've also seen instances of love, kindness, generosity, and courage.  These points of light shine through the darkness and give me hope.  Most notably, this is the first year I have not worried about whether our children would be ours forever.  The adoption was final in December 2014 and it is as if they were "born from my own body."  We thank God every night for keeping our family together.

In the midst of our relief, parenting continues to be the hardest job I have ever done.  At this point, I have forgiven my parents for any "mistakes" they made and recognize them for the superheroes they truly are (Wonder Woman and Thor).  I try to remind myself to savor the special moments like when a sweet little voice says, "Mommy, I love you so much."  It's difficult to see now, but I believe one day I will look back and see the constellation of my life, a mixture of darkness and light.