this silence is killing me

Words crowd into my mouth,
burning my tongue,
pushing against lips sealed
shut by fear--the paranoid,
paralyzing kind.

To rid the acrid taste
I swallow back each
incendiary noun,
verb, and adjective, though
the action scalds my throat.

Before the pain can
subside my stomach
retches them up again
to begin anew
their acidic onslaught.

Why do I not speak?
How can speaking out
possibly cost me more
than the turmoil
of keeping silent?

No answer. For the
questions never leave my
head. Afraid to speak yet
tortured for not doing so,
this silence is killing me.